Experience

  

   As you all know, I did not get the job I interviewed for in Charlotte a month ago.  It was with Joni and Friends International Disability Center.  I can not believe I had never heard of them before!  They do (have been doing for years) so much for the disabled community!!!  So you can better help me in my job search, HERE is the actual link to the job I thought had Katherine Hodges written all over it.  I thought the interview went well, but the director said when it came down to experience, others had more.  
   I was pretty bummed last night.  Excerpts from my conversation with God over the matter:

"I thought You wanted me to ask more specific things of You, to show how big You are.  I had just realized that helping the disabled community was what I wanted to do!  It would have been awesome to give me this- I have to be out of my house THIS month!"

"You know I could do this job!  If THEY don't think I have experience, who will?!" 

"I'm getting experience the best I know how when people won't give me a job.  I'm on my SECOND internship."

"I'm almost 25 and still have to order off the DOLLAR menu, Lord!" 

"sniffle.snot.honk."

"Have I been going about this wrong?  Do you want me to get the first corporate job I can so my resume will have at least ONE place listed for over a year?  Or is it OK what I'm doing?  Just be more clear!!!!"

   For awhile I read Romans 8:28 over and over.  Being one verse, it got old fast.  I started flipping through this Joyce Meyer amplified Bible.  Right away I happened to flip to commentary Joyce did in Hebrews.  I busted out laughing.

Have you ever needed a job, but every employment ad you read asked for someone with experience?  You wanted a job but did not have any experience, and it frustrated you.  I have been in that situation, and I remember thinking, "how can I get experience if nobody will give me a job?"

God also wants experienced help.  When we go to work for God in His kingdom, He will use everything in our past.  No matter how painful it was.  He considers it experience.  Many of us have gone through difficult things, and those things qualify us to help take someone else through them too.  Hebrews 5:8, 9 tells us that even Jesus gained experience through the things He suffered.

How could I write to you right now if I had not gone through some difficult things and gained some valuable experience?  How could I teach others how to forgive those who have hurt them if I had not first had the experience of forgiving those who hurt me?

I encourage you to look at your pain from a different viewpoint.  A right perspective makes all the difference in your life.  Take a look at how you can use your pain for someone else's gain.  Can your mess become your ministry?  Maybe you have gone through so much that you feel you have enough experience to be a specialist in some area.  I am a specialist in overcoming shame, guilt, poor self-image, lack of confidence, fear, anger, bitterness, self-pity, etc.  Let me encourage you to be positive about your past and your pain, and realize that it can all be used for good in God's kingdom.

-Joyce Meyer

So yeah, I was totally fine after that. :b

Katherine Hodges- CIO at Starscape Media

   It's pretty much INSANE (God) that my new roomate Carrie, who I'd never met before in my life,  "happened" (God) to be thrown into the same house with us and "coincidentally" (GOD) ran her own video production company.  Then, if that wasn't crazy enough, we both have Rocky Mount, VA roots (someone ancestry.com how we're cousins, please) and almost identical tribulations in our twenties.   I mean, we both "happen" to own harmonicas, and sat here tonight trying to learn how to play.  Never in my life have I come across another girl who wanted to learn harmonica.  (God, God, GOD!)  There are some tough days right now, but I "LOOK AT THE LORD!" (this catchphrase coming to a city near you) and KNOW God is taking care of me and has a plan.  For cryin' out LOUD, I have a rent-free house full of now...FOUR! (not including me).... amazing christian women fighting for the Lord.  
   I was going to wait until the new website was up, but I can't wait anymore....or.......just have nothing else to do this evening.  For a couple weeks now I've been the Chief Interning Officer at Starscape Media.  :)  While painting Carrie's desk in December, I told her maybe God was pushing me back into video.  Then I'd watch them editing the same clip all day long and say, "never mind, this just affirms I would not want to do video".  When I quit my internship with SafeWorld, Carrie said she could use some help, and maybe I could intern with her.  I told her I'd help, it would probably be good for my resume, but I really felt like my heart was in working for a humanitarian organization.  She said, "you know I'd like to start a nonprofit with this one day right?"


:o


  I did not know this.  We talked more about new directions her company was taking and long-term dreams we both had.  I realized this could be something really cool.  I started working on a couple projects for her.  It was so amazing to see the skills I had, and the skills I lacked, mesh with the rest of the team.  I thought I was done with video because I couldn't make cool graphics or do any of the super techy stuff.  I didn't want to spend years doing nothing but editing other people's ideas.  I always wanted to spend time meeting interesting people and interviewing them, but I didn't want to spend years reporting on stories like Leprechaun sitings in Alabama to get there.  Already I've helped produce stories, written creative copy, co-hosted a radio show ALL about interviewing interesting people, helped brand a campaign, and even created artwork for a local television show!  
   Just last week I got to hang out with two different ministries needing media.  It's so awesome that I'm still doing humanitarian work too!  Check out Jason and Bethany Rose's ministry at www.extravagantrevolution.org .  They have a passion for mentally disabled adults, knowing most have so much trouble in life once they're out of the school system.  This is the EXACT topic I spent a whole semester researching for a paper in college.  Coincidence?  I have a specific dream (and I know God's going to materialize it one day) to help this community out in a big way before I leave this earth.  I'm really excited to partner with the Roses.
   Then we've been doing a lot with Carrie's good friend Amy Lambert.  She has a great ministry evangelizing to drug addicts, sharing with them the hope Christ gave her, ending her own struggle with drugs.  She is bringing a free concert to Charlotte, NC to reach these lost and suffering souls.  Listen to her story HERE, and PLEASE consider giving to her first campaign, due in just a couple days!   
   I'm still broke, but again, it's really awesome because it forces me to paint.  And I love it.  God knows what He is doing.   :)


Trust Me one day at a time.  This keeps you close to Me, responsive to My will.  Trust is not a natural response, especially for those who have been deeply wounded.  My Spirit within you is your resident Tutor, helping you in this supernatural endeavor.  Yield to His gentle touch; be sensitive to His prompting.
Exert your will to trust Me in all circumstances.  Don't let your need to understand distract you from My Presence.  I will equip you to get through this day victoriously, as you live in deep dependence on Me.  Tomorrow is busy worrying about itself; don't get tangled up in its worry-webs.  Trust Me one day at a time.
-Jesus Calling by Sarah Young  
     

FAITH > Most anything else

  
    You would think I get a high from quitting jobs, as I've done it twice in one month, however I promise you that's not the case.  It's quite the opposite for me.  I don't know how I'm going to pay my bills.  I don't know how long it will be until my next meal is something other than a Little Ceasar's pizza.  I wonder, "is God forcing me to be a Liberty Tax Waver as some ultimate lesson in humility?"  I had to quit my job as a waitress at Bristol's brand new Cheddar's.  They had me working (as in constantly burning calories) for 7+ hours without any food.  No breaks.  I couldn't believe it, much less stand it.  Please refrain from looking at their menu so it will be easier for you to boycott them for life with me.
   I really didn't know what I was going to do.  I mean, I'm in this itty bitty town during a recession and quit my job at the only place that was hiring. But I was rapidly losing weight and just didn't believe that my God wanted me to keep working at this place!  The tips were getting me nowhere close to minimum wage.  I don't think I could have payed my bills if I stayed.  So in an act of FAITH I quit.  That was all I stepped out on though.  I definitely didn't step out on joy.  I was in a bad mood for days.  I couldn't believe God had me go through all that for nothing.  
   Sunday I went with Carrie to her church and it was weird.  We were late, so we walked in during the middle of some song I've never heard.  The lyrics are all about God providing.  Next, the pastor talks about God providing and how "you have to remember when He's pulled you through before, then you can have FAITH He'll do it again."  Next a member of the church stood up to talk about tithing....womp WOMMMMP.  Having been on the receiving end of tithes for months, and a contributing member to society for only two short-lived weeks, I hadn't given tithing any thought.  This guy talked about how there were times he gave his money to the Lord even though he didn't know how he could buy groceries without it, but God always provided, even blessed him.  
   When we got home, Carrie can tell you, I was still in a bad mood.  I made myself be a hip christian and journal.  I wrote about all those past times God provided.  I started thinking and remembered how after graduation the Lord had given me a part-time job just in time to start making my $200-a-month car payment.  Then right before my student loan payments started, and I was going to need a full-time job, He provided one.  That first paycheck was in the bank just DAYS before I had to make my payment too.  I remembered how I pretty much wrote a letter on the back of the envelope to my creditor, telling them "I didn't know how I was going to pay but look how God provided! Psalm121!!! all blessings flow etc etc".  I give God praise every month on the back of those envelopes.  I remembered how I didn't think I could work for a nonprofit organization because of my loans, but God provided for that AND THEN SOME!  Next Carrie talked to me about tithing, reminding me the fifty-cent tips I got waitressing were still fifty-cent tips I hadn't had before.  I knew I needed to tithe, so with less than three figures in my account I made a donation to Megan Boudreaux's organization, Respire Haiti. 
   Meanwhile...(as in yesterday) I went to Carrie's office and helped them edit videos, praying God would give her a giant job where she could afford to hire me or I'd get a big babysitting gig.  I couldn't see how else I'd be saved.  Carrie reminded me I shouldn't put God in a box.  Uh!!! She's always right!  Yesterday afternoon our friend Elyssia calls saying this woman came in to cater an event for her office.  Somehow the woman found out Elyssia was a christian.  She asked Elyssia to pray for her.  She really needed a christian girl to come work for her cafe/catering co./country store full-time. Soooooo yup.  I am now that girl.  Seriouslywhattheheckthisissocrazy!!!  It's amazing!  My new boss is a mix of the Virgin Mary and Paula Deen.  OH! AND GET THIS------- AS MUCH FOOD AS I WANT ALL DAY FOR FREE!!!!!!!  The first thing I saw when I walked in the store was a chalkboard that had this written on it:  For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. Then you will call upon Me, and you will come and pray to Me, and I will hear and heed you.  Another said, "Miracles happen everyday."  Definitely teared up.  
   It's the cutest place!  While I was there someone came in, grabbed a drink, told her they'd pay her later.  We know all the same people.  Everyone knows everyone.  I always wanted to live in Mayberry and now I do!  THEN (God was just showing off with this one.) I come to find out she's a Gamecocks fan!  She was an Army brat and lived at Ft. Jackson for awhile!  She's excited to put my paintings in the store!!! I mean, is this real life?
   I did have FAITH God would provide, but I was annoyed that He was making me go through another "trial".  It's so stupid of me.  How could I ever learn to have FAITH in Him if I didn't go through these unknowing periods?  I'd rather have a life where I'm crying half the time and rejoicing the other, than where everything just seems to work out good-enough.  God and I's relationship is getting so much tighter this way.  Just before this whole job-quiting-extravaganza, God really opened my eyes to the importance of FAITH in Him.  If you think about it, Jesus really only rebuked his disciples for unbelief.  (The only two times I could come up with, when he rebuked them for other things, were when they didn't "let the little children come to" him and Peter cut off the guard's ear.)  We get so caught up in morality (laws) when he just wants our FAITH.  Every religion has great morality.  We have more of a testimony when we can look ridiculously difficult times in the face and say, "I have FAITH in my God!"  That's the stuff that makes zero sense to the rest of the world.  FAITH is what people want.

"Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this," says the LORD Almighty, "and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it."
-Malachi 3:10

Unending Crown of Glory

   I finished reading Donald Miller's book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years the other day.  So.Crazy.  Just one on the stack I've been waiting to read, and I happen to read it this week.  Miller starts describing this friend of his named Bob and this awesome parade Bob started.  I was like, "wait a minute... it's not..."  No it was.  Turns out one of the main characters in his memoir, the last person he thanks in this book is Bob Goff.  The same guy that invited us to the witch doctor conference in Uganda.  The world got very small.  BUT THEN, TODAY I checked out Jon Acuff's blog and who is he talking about?  The Goff!  Not only THAT, he has a link to a video of the very same parade mentioned in the book.  THEN  who happens to be the Grand Marshall of this year's parade?  Rodrick.  The boy I saw with Bob in Uganda.  (Click HERE to read my post on that day.)  The boy who had been found half dead on the side of the road, castrated, is in this video laughing and smiling. :)  It's so beautiful.  Check it out:

   I really recommend this book.  It talks about looking at your life as a written story, or script.  Would anyone want to read your story?  Are you a good character?  No?  Then do some editing!  A movie isn't a good movie without the character overcoming major obstacles.  It would be a TERRIBLE movie if everything was given to them.  The view on top of a mountain is so much better when you hiked there.  This book really helped my attitude this week.  Whatever people have told me about waitressing... it's that tough and more.  My gosh!  HOWEVER after reading this, I'm truly grateful that I can say I waitressed for awhile, that I WORKED.  I would have thought it was awesome if a guy got down on one knee last week and said, "hey Baby will you marry me and here's $30,000 for your student loans".  (Heck he could have just said he had dental.)  How much better a character I'll be when that guy meets me and I can say, "Yeah I worked my butt off for awhile waitressing and now I'm debt free".  "During this time I also learned to play the harmonica and started a bluegrass band with Kayla and Carrie :b ".  (But seriously. We're doing this.)  
   If Rodrick was some movie star's son who'd had the perfect life this video would mean nothing to us.  It would be nice, but we wouldn't tear up watching it.  We wouldn't feel anything.  Knowing what you know he went through... that crown on his head MEANS something.  I want to live a life that MEANS SOMETHING!  Francis Chan's got it exactly.  Watch this short clip:

I want to live so that when I'm done on this earth I can stand before The Judge with my hands held high!!!

In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith - more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire - may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.

-1 Peter 1:6-7     

And when the chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the unending crown of glory. 
-1 Peter 5:4  

I'm Starting a New Chapter

   I had to make a hard decision last week.  After weeks of advice, thinking, praying I decided it was time for me to leave SafeWorld.  I asked that all leftover support funds I raised go towards buying mosquito nets.  Once I receive a list of my donors I will contact y'all directly.  I'll still be living with Carrie and Sarah.  (Rachel decided to move back to Arkansas.)  
   I still want to work for a humanitarian organization.  Ideally I'd like to be in the southeast, but I've applied for some positions all over the country.  I've even looked at some things overseas.  It's pretty cool actually.  I never would have imagined going to Haiti and Uganda within six months, especially when I had never even flown before.  God got creative sending me to SafeWorld for 2011.  I'm just putting it in His hands and asking Him to get creative again.  I know He has a plan.  Some of it I know was just to get me to Bristol and meet my 'long lost cousin' Carrie.  We've had eerily similar life experiences.  It's been so great sharing struggles and learning about God/loving others from her.  One of my aunts was telling me I needed to come home where I'd have more of a support system.  I didn't want to hurt any feelings, but living with two girls who chase after Jesus is the best support system I could have!  
   Today I drove home from a great wedding/reunion with friends.  I was really sad the weekend was over. (college was over.)  I missed all my great friends, their fun, their support.  I walked up the stairs to my house to put my stuff away, a.k.a some free space on the floor.  Long story, (maybe not but...) I haven't really had a room yet at our house.  My stuff has been a mess all over the place.  I've slept on the couch and other people's beds.  I honestly couldn't work on the situation though because of my back being so bad.  I gave up caring.  But when I walked upstairs I started bawling.  Sarah had moved in furniture, taken all my clothes off the floor and FOLDED it into a dresser, hung my coats in the closet, set my books on the mantle, pinned up my USC pennant, and even given me a framed picture of me and a friend.  I told her it was probably the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.  I was so overwhelmed by God's love for me.  He knows I need the relationships like I had in college, and He's provided them.
   He's provided me a temporary job waitressing also.  I start tomorrow.  I AM thankful for this, though not in love with the idea.  I want to be joyful at work.  I want to "shine a light".  I think it's going to be a big struggle the next couple of weeks (months?) to not get discouraged because I'm no longer doing work I love.  Please pray for me on this.  You can also pray I don't covet my sister's life right now.  If you haven't heard, Emily's traveling throughout the Middle East for the next four months!  I guess you can keep her in your prayers too :b .  That's all for now.  Contacts are back to hodgeske2010@gmail.com and 804-516-6677.

For the eyes of the Lord move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His.
-2 Chronicles 16:9a