If you have not yet heard, I have a full-time adult-person job.
That is right. A JOB. Eligible-for-benefits-in-a-month, not-applying-for-anything-else-for-one-to-two-years JOB.
After the last post, I'd love to tell you I'm opening my own gallery, the Communications Director for a nonprofit, was asked by National Geographic to photograph hidden tropical destinations, etc..... but it's way more Dunder-Mifflin than that.
After I moved back to Richmond I had multiple conversations with a Christian organization that has disabled adult group homes all over the world. I was SO sure that had to be the adventure God had next. I would again be in great community, it would only pay a small stipend so I would still have to paint and trust God to provide, and they only had openings in very cold places so I would be making a big sacrifice. But like so many other jobs in the last couple of years, weird things happened that seemed to be blocking me- even though these people really liked me. (Let me tell you, I have been told someone was going to hire me but a single mom came in after me and of course they had to give it to her. Someone was going to hire me but then at the last minute the person I'd be replacing decided not to leave. I have been hired and then unhired right before I was supposed to start a job because the organization's board decided they disagreed with the director's choice in hiring me.) As I realized getting hired by this organization may too not come to fruition, I had to do what I swore I would never do, and apply for jobs in Richmond. I could barely believe it, but I knew I had exhaustively tried everything else. I knew that God knew I would go and do anything. He knows what is best for me and could have done a number of things to keep me out of Richmond/away from family issues. (Obviously He did for all of 2012.) I conceded His will may be that it was time for me to come back.
Before Christmas I ran into this very sweet woman from the church I went to as a teen. I'd never talked to her much before, but she was really nice trying to think of somewhere I might be able to find employment. She works for the company her husband started/owned, but they weren't hiring anyone at the moment. I gave her my card and told her to let me know if anything ever came up.
Well wouldn't you know the next day she calls me because their Administrative Assistant left. I sent in an application, but Christmas was upon us and I didn't hear about anything for awhile. After the New Year I reluctantly (I mean, it was really hard to do it.) checked up on things again. They had me come in the next day for an interview. Now, at this point, I have had a good number of interviews in my life. The average seems to be 45 minutes. I think this one was between ten and fifteen minutes. They called me that day to offer me the job. Back in November I interviewed a SECOND time for a different opening with Joni and Friends International Disability Center in Charlotte. I had experience. I got along great with everyone- AGAIN. I was there two hours. They had me do skills tests on the computer, had me do a personality test, talked about how THAT was THE place I wanted to work- how perfect it was for me. Yet, that job I didn't get, and this one where I tell them I have no aspirations to stay past a year or two and we only talk for a couple minutes I get. I was just like, "OK Lord. You win. I give up."
Obviously He wants me here. I haven't had any breakdowns but feel good knowing this HAS to be His will. Just some little things have shown me how much He cares and knows what's best for me. The company is a trucking/shipping company on the side of Richmond where my grandparents live, so I am living with them now which is really good. Most administrative assistant/receptionist jobs are at a desk in the front of the office by themselves. The only time you get to talk is when your coworkers are coming back from lunch and you have fifteen identical conversations about how it's going to rain tomorrow and you want to scream. I know it is a small blessing from God that he has the woman from my church working right next to me. THEN it has been so amazing talking to her and realizing God has been revealing so many identical things about Himself to the both of us in the last couple of years. The "Man" knows what He's doing. Another awesome little thing: the company does a couple events/fundraising to give back to the community. Because my supervisor knows that's what I'm interested in, she is letting me help the guy who usually heads all that up. Everyone at the place is so nice. It's been good.
So much of my story the last year has been God providing. After I moved back to Richmond this Fall, again I figured I could in no way pay my bills. I threw kind of an impromptu Art Sale. It was about fifty dollars short of what I needed. Then that night a friend from out of town, who I never get to see but was going to be seeing in a couple weeks at a wedding, placed an order for a total of sixty dollars. November was covered. Truly a miracle. Then came December. I got a couple Christmas orders from the show but it really didn't look like it would be enough. I still don't know how but somehow it was enough. (Actually, I know some of you gave me a little "extra" when paying. You got me through another month when I didn't think it would happen and I thank you.) I'd actually given up that month. Just knew I wasn't going to be able to pay my loans so I didn't try as hard as I could have. It's like God doesn't even let me quit. His love has amazed me these last couple years.
At first, I thought if I got a steady paying job like I got two weeks ago, I wouldn't get to see God providing for me in these awesome ways anymore. I was actually sad to see that time end. I know now He is way bigger and has way cooler things in store for me than financial miracles. I was looking back at my journal from the last couple years and was reminded how He has already shown me how relational He wants to be. I've seen so many amazing things, but I haven't been able to share them on here because they include people other than me, and it's not my place to tell their story. Here's an example of some I CAN tell though:
-I realized one night I had not prayed in a long time for the orphans I met one day in Haiti. I hadn't even hardly thought about them. That night I took some time and prayed for them. The next day I see on Facebook that an organization installed a well for them. They finally had access to water. I was like.... woooah.
-A similar thing. I have a friend with a brain tumor. I was woken up in the middle of the night one night by a very specific dream of this friend in a lot of pain. I never have dreams like this. I just felt like I had to get out of bed and pray for her. I realized I hadn't been praying for her for awhile either. I started doing that again, and two weeks later she posted she had had her first good report from a doctor.
-I found out someone I knew hadn't been going to church for a long time and I was surprised. I didn't want them and their family to miss out on what I was experiencing and could see where they needed the Lord. I never talked to them about this. I started praying, "Lord, will you speak to them. Please just speak to them." I don't why I prayed "speak" but I always did. A year or so later I am talking to this person (and unless they're reading this now they still wouldn't know I prayed this) and they tell me God spoke to them in a dream. They said it was just like in Revelation. They saw Jesus come out of the sky...and I can't tell any more but it was a goosebumps all over my body moment.
God hears us.
God hears ME. Any of my friends will tell you I'm an angry, bitter, fart of a person. If someone like me can continually be forgiven and pursued by The Ruler Of The Universe For All Eternity, then know the same is true for you. I'm not sure if/how I'll use this blog in the future. I'm hoping the next chapter of my life will include me pursuing people like God has done with me. I want to invest in other people's lives and see souls turn towards Jesus. As that's not something that happens over night, I don't think it will work for me to share personal stories about how I see their lives changing. Who knows though- since I don't have a creative outlet at work, I may start writing every now and then on different topics to keep the juices flowing. And I've learned not to underestimate God. I guess there could be cool stories for me to share.
Like this one. Last week the story of Hezekiah had been in the back of my mind. I had really only payed attention to it last year. It was new to me. (Which blows my mind because it is in three different books of the Bible! I can't believe I've never even heard a sermon or Sunday School lesson on it.) I remembered God healed Hezekiah and heard his prayer. I think I just wanted to find it again for comfort. When I went to read my Bible though I would forget about it. Then it would be in the back of my mind again while at work. Well Tuesday night I was coming home from work and it was pouring rain. I've needed new wipers for years (Hallelujah I can afford something as cheap as THAT now!) and so I can barely see anything when it's raining that hard. Everything's a blur. But I kid you not- I stopped at a red light and see the license plate of the car I'd been following. It says "HEZKIAH". It. was. weird. That night I did NOT forget to look up the story. Read some commentary even which pointed out something I wouldn't have caught without it. Had Hezekiah died and God ignored his pleas to live, Hezekiah's son Manasseh would have never been born. Manasseh became Judah's terrible and ruthless leader for 55 years! Instead of seeing Hezekiah's story as a great example of us having the power to change God's mind, I see now it is an example that He knows what is best for the world if we would seek His will. Our prayer shouldn't necessarily be "change these circumstances to this", but "reveal to me Your will and change my heart so it aligns with Your's".
So. To sum it all up: I am no longer moving from couch to couch. I have a job in Richmond. I am SO thankful for so many people who have been there for me this last year while I sought employment. (Actually a thank-you-Bristolians blog post may be in order.) I am happy to know I'm where God wants me. And I almost forgot- the woman who got me the job/my new desk neighbor- she's a Gamecock fan. :)
Hezekiah trusted in, leaned on, and was confident in the Lord, the God of Israel; so that neither after him nor before him was any one of all the kings of Judah like him.
For he clung and held fast to the Lord and ceased not to follow Him, but kept His commandments, as the Lord commanded Moses.
And the Lord was with Hezekiah; he prospered wherever he went.
-2 Kings 18:5-7a
