If I learned one chapter in the Bible this year it's James 4

  
 Back in June I was kind of homeless and unemployed.  I didn't know how I was going to pay my bills.  Then a friend ordered this painting.  Even though I had no clue how I'd get it to him in Jackson, Mississippi without UPS destroying it, he payed in advance.  God provided.  Pretty much, this sums up 2012 to a T.  If you'd like to be caught up to speed, here we go:

-I had to be out of the donated SafeWorld/Starscape house at the end of April.

-A friend let me live with her for a month while I continued waitressing and waited to hear back from a potential job. At the end of May when I found out I didn't get the job, I decided to quit my waitressing job in Bristol (I don't want to squash anyone's dreams, but let me tell you, you can't make a living waitressing in Bristol, TN.) and move to Savannah, figuring I could make by waitressing there.

-  Friends in Bristol were going on vacation though, and said I could house-sit for them the first two weeks in June.  I put off going to Savannah and just painted.

-Right when this couple gets back, another couple needs someone to house-sit.  While there two weeks, I meet a man out walking.  He says he has a carriage house on a farm I can live on for the month of July for free.

-I lived in my OWN place on a BEAUTIFUL farm with an in-ground POOL for a month.  I gave up on going to Savannah and decided (am persuaded by Carrie and Kayla) to just give painting a go.

-While driving back to town from a fun birthday weekend, I tell God, "Lord, I only have a week left on the farm.  Could you please give me a job?  Actually, you don't even HAVE to give me a job.  You've provided through painting.  But I DO need a place to live after this week.....and.....I don't have to but it would be SO nice if I could have a roommate."  Before I get back to town, a friend calls and asks if I still need a place to live.  I say I do.  She says, "well we've decided to go teach in Malawi until *Christmas and would love for someone to watch the house.  You can have it for free.  Also, if you don't want to live alone, we know a girl who might be interested."  Below is a photograph from the last time they were in Malawi, and the wife had me paint for the husband's birthday right before they left.

-AND a week before I move into their house I get a call from a family I used to babysitt for every now and then.  They had no idea about any of this, if I was even in Bristol anymore.  They ask if I can watch their kids part-time, every week, September to December.  (*Christmas is in December.)  

If you haven't picked up on it yet, there's been some remarkable timing in my life.

SoooooOOOOOOoooOOOo since the end of the summer I have been living in the cutest Bristolian house with the sweetest roommate, watching kids three blocks away, and painting at Starscape Media.  It's kind of funny, but *knowing I'd have a place for 3.5 months seemed like eternity, because I even moved more than is listed.  I had to move with my month-of-May roommate when she moved from one condo to another, I think I actually went back to one of the first house-sitting houses in between staying at the other, I had to go stay with family in Richmond in between the farm and the Malawi couple's house..... it's just been crazy. I know this is long, but I want to list everything so I remember, and so you too can see there's something more than coincidence taking place in my life.  I watched this sermon the other night by Francis Chan and was like, "Yes! That's what's been happening to me!!".  You really REALLY need to take the time to watch his talk.

    I'm struggling so much with what to say.  Like Chan said, I can't even tell you every talk with God and prayer answered I've seen in the last couple months because something amazing happens every other day.  The list above is just God providing for my needs, but He so often provides for my wants too.  I'll give you one.  In my aunt's attic is a giant stuffed tiger.  I keep asking her to let me have it.  The kids are grown.  It's not played with.  All I want to do is take it to a certain Thanksgiving weekend football game in South Carolina for me and my friends to play with.  I guess she doesn't want to see images like the one below with her daughters' childhood playmate.  Sad.  One day though, I'm driving through my neighborhood and what to my wondering eyes should appear?  But a fat redneck carrying a stuffed dog to the curb.  I pulled over and asked if I could have it.  For months I knew I was going to the Georgia game, never the clemson game!!!  In the exact moment I was driving by, God put that dog on the curb for me to mutilate!  He's so good!!!  But again, I'm telling you I could go on and on.

   God is right here, waiting for all of us to come near to Him, so He can come close to us.  I became a christian at nine years old, but it wasn't until after college I told Him to do whatever He had to to make sure He was Number One in my life.  Not until then have I seen Him really moving in my life.  (Man.  I just want to dive so much into Chan's sermon.)  But yeah, I wasn't receiving answers to prayers before because I wasn't abiding in Christ and thinking with an eternal perspective.  Once I started yearning for the way better life after this one, I started caring about what He cared about.  And realizing His kingdom and desires CAN come on Earth "as it is in Heaven", I began asking and seeing this kind of stuff.  I feel so strongly that God has been training me up for bigger and better things.
   Go back to the beginning of this year's moving and I was not a happy girl.  But every time He provided I began to trust Him more and more, until it got to the point where I am now:

*Come now, you who say, Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a city and spend a year there and carry on our business and make money.

Yet you do not know [the least thing] about what may happen tomorrow.

  

 I found out ten days ago that my friends in Malawi were coming back early (today).  I had to quit my babysitting job.  That was my main source of income lately.  I have NO CLUE, I mean..... 

NO

CLUE

what God is going to do next.  But I can tell you that list above is not a list of me complaining about moving.  It is a list of God not forsaking me one time.  This is the first time I am truly anticipating something awesome to come next, though I can't see but a week in front of me.  I'm excited to share with you that God hasn't done anything yet!  Now y'all can watch it happen with me.  I don't have a place of my own.  I don't have a job.  But I can finally say I have FAITH.  Oh and I found out the family I babysatt for is driving in their spacious minivan to Jackson, Mississippi next weekend. :)

4 What leads to strife (discord and feuds) and how do conflicts (quarrels and fightings) originate among you? Do they not arise from your sensual desires that are ever warring in your bodily members?

² You are jealous and covet [what others have] and your desires go unfulfilled; [so] you become murderers. [To hate is to murder as far as your hearts are concerned.] You burn with envy and anger and are not able to obtain [the gratification, the contentment, and the happiness that you seek], so you fight and war. You do not have, because you do not ask.

³ [Or] you do ask [God for them] and yet fail to receive, because you ask with wrong purpose and evil, selfish motives. Your intention is [when you get what you desire] to spend it in sensual pleasures.

⁴ You [are like] unfaithful wives [having illicit love affairs with the world and breaking your marriage vow to God]! Do you not know that being the world’s friend is being God’s enemy? So whoever chooses to be a friend of the world takes his stand as an enemy of God.

⁵ Or do you suppose that the Scripture is speaking to no purpose that says, The Spirit Whom He has caused to dwell in us yearns over us and He yearns for the Spirit [to be welcome] with a jealous love?

⁶ But He gives us more and more grace (power of the Holy Spirit, to meet this evil tendency and all others fully). That is why He says, God sets Himself against the proud and haughty, but gives grace [continually] to the lowly (those who are humble enough to receive it).

⁷ So be subject to God. Resist the devil [stand firm against him], and he will flee from you.

⁸ Come close to God and He will come close to you. [Recognize that you are] sinners, get your soiled hands clean; [realize that you have been disloyal] wavering individuals with divided interests, and purify your hearts [of your spiritual adultery].

⁹ [As you draw near to God] be deeply penitent and grieve, even weep [over your disloyalty]. Let your laughter be turned to grief and your mirth to dejection and heartfelt shame [for your sins].

¹⁰ Humble yourselves [feeling very insignificant] in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you [He will lift you up and make your lives significant].

¹¹ [My] brethren, do not speak evil about or accuse one another. He that maligns a brother or judges his brother is maligning and criticizing the Law and judging the Law. But if you judge the Law, you are not a practicer of the Law but a censor and judge [of it].

¹² One only is the Lawgiver and Judge Who is able to save and to destroy [the One Who has the absolute power of life and death]. [But you] who are you that [you presume to] pass judgment on your neighbor?

¹³ Come now, you who say, Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a city and spend a year there and carry on our business and make money.

¹⁴ Yet you do not know [the least thing] about what may happen tomorrow. What is the nature of your life? You are [really] but a wisp of vapor (a puff of smoke, a mist) that is visible for a little while and then disappears [into thin air].

¹⁵ You ought instead to say, If the Lord is willing, we shall live and we shall do this or that [thing].

¹⁶ But as it is, you boast [falsely] in your presumption and your self-conceit. All such boasting is wrong.

¹⁷ So any person who knows what is right to do but does not do it, to him it is sin.

-James 4

Alexa and Owen's Engagement Photos

 

MY BEST FRIEND GOT ENGAGED!

MY BEST FRIEND TRUSTED ME TO TAKE HER ENGAGEMENT PHOTOS!!!

   This is a pretty big deal as I've never been payed for photography before.  It's an even bigger deal when she knew the camera, memory card, and photoshop had to be borrowed from three different people.  I don't think there are many so trusting.  This is what makes her....THE BEST!  Our whole friendship is flashing before my eyes and there is so much I want to talk about, but I'm scared I'll need it later for her wedding toast.  I'm going to be safe and just go over the photos.

   Props to all you photographers!  I've taken photography classes, so I thought the only thing I've been lacking to go professional was a really nice camera.  Nope.  It is hard.  The following are only the tip of the iceburg of the hours and hours worth we shot.  I am sure there is WAY more editing that could be done, but unless Lexi or Owen can think of anything specific (and I know how to do it), I'm out.

   The first group of photos take place in Carytown, a cute little artsy area in Richmond.  (Reminds me of Five Points in Columbia.)  The Byrd Theatre is a historic landmark there.  It plays movies a couple months late, so tickets are only two dollars.  They also host Richmond's Annual French Film Festival, the largest french film festival in North America.  Owen is a big movie buff.  Since Owen moved to Richmond they've frequented The Byrd often.

 

 

Sorry but it would take me a year to change the letters in this sign and it come out realistic.

Love your face in this!

The next group of photos were taken at Maymont, a free and beautiful park in Richmond.  There's a small zoo and different types of gardens.  Alexa and Owen wanted to especially get pictures at the gazebo where they had a date once.

 

 This right here is why even Alexa had to pay me.  I'm not watching my best friend make out with a guy for free, fiance or not.

 I think this one would be cute and easy to re-do when y'all are old.

 

If you want to go the artsy route...

 This is a tree in Maymont where "lovers" carve their initials.  I thought it would be the perfect background.  Poor Alexa and Owen kept trying to appease me as I made them take shot after shot, even though Alexa tripped multiple times over the roots in her heels.  Unfortunately the lighting wasn't great and I couldn't get the camera to focus there well.  Maybe later with more editing we'll find some good ones.

 Downtown Richmond!  We got some really cool shots while the sun was setting, but I'll need to learn more about taking photos when the light gets really low.  Technology is tricky.  I didn't mean for the last shot to be a silhouette, but someone has to be the "cover photo".

 

 

 

   Lastly....SURPRISE LEXI!  I recently had to throw away the poster you made me in high school.  (You know, with all my moving and all...)  And actually that sounds like a terrible surprise..... but I took digital photos of the WHOLE thing!!!  Here is a little tribute to our beautiful friendship that started at 12 years old!!!  Love you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

 

  

 

Cheers on your engagement!

Mural of The Whole WIDE World

2 Thessalonians 3:1

      
   I hadn't done a wall mural in a long time when this project came along.  It's always fun to color on the walls.  I've been going with Carrie to her church since about December when we met/moved in together with three other girls.  It's a good drive from Bristol, which I guess makes it kind of exciting since there's not one place in Bristol over a seven minute commute.  We drive up to Southwest Virginia through the most beautiful scenery.  It's always safer for me not to drive, as I can't keep my eyes off the mountains around me.  The church itself is on top of a mountain, overlooking a state park/national forest.  It kills me every Sunday that they only have a handful of the skinniest windows to see the amazing view, but I guess there wouldn't be as much room for a mural- so thankful for that.  I am always pleading they build a screen porch on the back, since we sometimes stay after for hours hanging out.  Still hopeful that one happens.
   Part of what attracted me to this church is the comradery that's there.  I'm sure part of that is the size of the church (by far the smallest I've ever gone to- with sometimes just 30 on a Sunday).  I think most of it though is the people I've met.  My first Sunday we stayed in the fellowship hall a couple hours talking.  So. Many. Amazing stories there.  I talked with our pastor's mom (she and her husband originally started the church) who was from England.  She told stories of smuggling Bibles into Eastern Europe when she was young, risking jail and who knows what else, and how God miraculously got them through security checks where soldiers checked their bags carrying these Bibles.  After church Carrie's friends (with four kids- so they probably could have really used a Sunday nap) had us over until long after suppertime, sharing the amazing things God's done in their lives and genuinely interested in what He'd done in mine.  We talked modern Christian theologians, world missions, listened to them play/sing some hymns, watched their toddlers be hilarious.  I don't think I've ever gone to a church and after the first day felt I really knew a good number of the congregation afterwards, that I wouldn't feel weird going by myself the next Sunday.
   The other thing that makes this church so great is they don't look at the Holy Ghost like It's the second cousin of The Trinity.  This was new for me.  Hanging out in the fellowship hall after the service, it's not weird at all to see a group of people talking one second, and then to see them praying the next.  It's happened to me.  We're standing in a circle, sipping on coffee while I tell some pastors and friends that I don't know where I'll be living at the end of the week.  Instead of going straight to their advice or saying, "I'll definitely be praying for you",  (Which, face it, how often does that happen?  If you don't see me write your prayer request down, put it in the calendar on my phone, or do something weird like take one earring out to remind me later, let me tell ya, you won't be prayed for.)  they say, "OK let's pray for you".  Right then and there.  I love that! 

"Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”  
-Jesus; Matthew 18:19-20

I wonder how much we're missing out on by not praying TOGETHER. If anyone says we can't have the church of Acts in this day in age they are WRONG. We can. I'm going to it every Sunday I'm not out of town. The miraculous things that have happened to me the last year are nothing to what this church has seen. Y'all. I got to worship in the same room as a man who had been dead, and brought back to life. This man's body was so filled with cancer he hadn't even the strength to lift his head off his pillow for three months. His family and a couple from our church literally watched him die, but they prayed over him and he came back to this earth. Instantly there was no more pain. He could walk again. He came to our church days later standing next to his family singing, clapping, and praising God!!!  When people pray at this church they expect big things. Their God isn't this far off being whose attributes and personality are kind of fuzzy. They know Him. He is powerful.
He is loving.
He is merciful.
He is holy.
He is GOOD.
    When you see your God move, when you know He wants to dramatically change the life of anyone, if they'd only seek Him, you want to tell people. That's what this church does. They support various missionaries around the world, some who've moved away for life, some for short terms. I had the privilege of painting a map of the world in the fellowship hall. This is not just any map mind you. Underneath the land masses is CHALKBOARD PAINT! The church can now make magnets with the pictures of missionaries they're supporting/praying over and move them around as they move through countries themselves. I can't wait to get a picture of the mural with all the magnets up! (And one of these cute toddlers in front to show off how big the thing is.) If you're thinking you'd like something like this, it only took me around 30 hours. Oh, and let me tell you it was all free-handed. BOOM!  Actually, if you didn't know, I do everything free-hand. If that's not the Holy Ghost moving I don't know what is.
If you live here around Bristol and are looking for a church, come talk to me. If not, I really recommend trying out a Pentecostal-type church. (Obligatory Side Note- what makes a church is obviously the people inside. Many have corrupt leadership not following Biblical principles. Be decernful.) If you told me back in college I'd be going to a church like this I would have laughed in your face. I actually did a paper on Pentecostalism for a religion class because I wanted to learn more about these “crazy” people. Now I see I was the crazy one because it's the exact church I've read about in the Bible my whole life. 

For the kingdom of God does not consist in talk but in power.
-1 Corinthians 4:20

****NOT Chalkboard Paint.  MAGNETIC PAINT!!!! I can not believe I did that again.  If you see me ask me about my Lowe's/Sam's Club paint story, ha.

Soul Mates

    
When I started waitressing back in January, one of my coworkers said she knew the PERFECT guy for me.  His name was Chase.  He lived in Bristol, was really into missions, had just gotten back from Africa, and wanted to be a teacher.  Fast forward a month later and the house donated for Starscape and SafeWorld girls was getting a new roommate- Audrey.  She had been in Tanzania the past five months and needed a place to stay for a teaching job she had just gotten in town.  As a crazy extrovert in a house of nothing but I-just-need-some-alone-timers, I was anticipating Audrey's arrival like I would Gamecock football.  

Her first night we (I) bombarded her with questions.  The first and most important question was whether or not her fiance lived in town.  He did.  I was heartbroken.  I knew she would not be around.  We then asked what the details were with her engagement.  They had gone to King College in Bristol together.  Her fiancee wanted to teach too, in Africa one day, or something like that.  He'd been here in Bristol until the end of her trip, when he flew over to meet her.  "Chase had almost proposed to me there, but....," she continued.  

"So... 'CHASE' just got back from AFRICA too?" I asked. 
   
"Oh no," I thought.  

This girl is so happy right now, but her fiance is going to come over here and fall madly in love with me.  

I hope she hasn't booked a venue for the wedding yet.    

I feel bad, but it's not MY fault we're soul mates.

And she would have made such a pretty bride...

I decide it's best that she find out right then.  It could be really heartbreaking for her to realize it all upon watching our first meeting, just like it was for Chandler when Phoebe introduced Monica to her soul mate.

Thankfully, after much duress on my part, we figure out that her fiance is not the same Chase that God made for me.  I was thankful BEYOND BELIEF when I found out her Chase was a clemson fan.  If only that bit of information had been shared in the beginning, Audrey!  Obviously God would not make me a man who rooted for that excuse of a university.  He loves me too much.

ANYWAYS Chase and Audrey got married this weekend. I painted them a present.  Yay!

Nothing is Simple

   O......K.............. so the Michael Salman case doesn't look as simple as he makes it out to be.  I read an article that he registered this "friend group" of his as a nonprofit.  That does kind of change things.  Honestly I don't know how I feel about the whole thing anymore.  Watching friends on facebook comment on this issue, I feel like I need a law degree to fully grasp the situation.  Nothing is as simple as it seems.
   I partly blame my zeal on The History Channel's series "AMERICA The Story of Us".  You have GOT to watch it.  It's not so much "what" happened, but "how" things happened.  I seriously got teary when they talked about Lexington and Concord and how these sixty "nobodies" stood up to the strongest army in the world, knowing they would most likely die.  I feel like no one stands up for anything anymore.  When I saw what I thought was a simple issue of an American losing the basic right to assemble and worship, I didn't want to not take a stand.  Looking at the rest of the world too, and how dangerous it is to be a Christian, it scared me that this man seriously might have to start an underground church in America.
   I promise not to take up anymore space in your inboxes unless I really really REALLY feel we need to take a stand on something- like the closing of The Son of God Orphanage last year.  I'm so thankful people stood up for that, and those children are in much safer, healthier environments.
   I love painting and all.  I think it will be fun for a season and it's an absolute miracle to say I'm doing it full-time, but I really miss working for a humanitarian organization!  I want to DO something that CHANGES lives.  I think this being such a strong desire in my heart, and for so long, God has plans for me in that direction.  I'm not actively looking for jobs anymore, but if you hear of something, specifically know someone somewhere, definitely give me a call.  Also, with painting my schedule is WAY flexible.  I was able to help out Starscape Media at the City Invasions concert a couple weeks ago, which I would not have been able to do otherwise.  I got to be on stage with P.O.D., set-up and watch interviews with artists like Brian Welch and Flame, interview people from the audience, run the camera a bit, then see dozens of people accept Christ and ask to be baptized right there!  It was the longest day and something like 113 degrees outside and I LOVED IT!  So even if you just know of some temporary work that looks cool, let me know.  Maybe I do stuff like that and paint for awhile.  My life doesn't have to be simple either.

Romans 4

   So I'm kind of making myself blog right now.  1. Technology gets on my nerves and I can't even figure out how to change the background on this.  2. Life gets on my nerves right now.  
   Still, as much as I complain and am bitter about pretty much every area of my life right now, I can't deny God is taking care of me and up to something... though I don't HAVE A CLUE what.  This is a good way of making me think about the positive, annnnnd it glorifies Him.  So.

   Since May I've been in Bristol bouncing from house to house.  I think I moved for the fifth or sixth time today since then, but here I go, already complaining.  I was so sure I was going to get a job at this disabled adult group home in Dallas.  My brother is in a pretty good group home (so I thought), but I never felt like that was my calling.  Only in the last couple months have I thought about doing that.  Then, when I found this home, and they got back to me right away and were so excited to talk to me, I thought, "Wow.  This place is amazing!  This is how EVERY group home should be run.  Of course I never thought of working in a group home, because they are not doing what they are supposed to do when you hold them up to this place! They like me; this HAS to be what God intended!"  If you know anyone with a disabled child, who doesn't know what the answer is for them as adults, Cornerstone Ranch is the answer.  I could go on and on about this place, and why what they are doing is so profound.  You can check out their website for yourself and watch this video to get a snippet of everything.

 

  

They even wanted to start a GIANT art program this year.  It was so many of my different talents/passions coming together.  I knew this was what God planned.  But..... I didn't get the job.

   Plan B.735 was to just up and move to Savannah.  If I had to waitress, I might as well waitress at the beach.  A couple things happened and made me wonder if that was the best thing to do after all.  I literally seemed to have no good options before me.  I was completely dumbfounded as to what God had next.

   Last week, while house-sitting, I met this doctor/surgeon out walking.  When asked what I did, my response was, "I am homeless and unemployed." (I quit my waitressing job here when I thought I was moving to Savannah.)  He thought that was fascinating.  When asked where I saw myself in five years, my response was, "no. frickin'. idea."  

"That's AMAZING!" he said.  "I have got to have you over so my daughters and wife can meet you."  I looked at him like he was crazy, but the next night they had me over for supper.  He sat me down with his family and said, "OK, well..... just start from the beginning. Where were you born?"  So I sat there and told them everything significant.  I said how I have told God time and time again I'll go and do whatever He wants, how I've seen Him do some phenomenal things the last two years, but still.... here I am unemployed and living on other people's goodwill.  After spending most of the evening with them, they told me, "well we have this farm past the racetrack, and the carriage house there will be totally free for a month.  You're welcome to stay there for free."  Again, right when I think I'm at the end of my rope, God provides in some absurd way that I never would have thought of.  These people had known me for a matter of hours.

   But yes.  Here I am.  Today I moved into a place that I can "kind of" call my own for the first time in a couple months.  The place is beautiful!   My new friends also had me do a painting of their barn on the farm.  I JUST finished.  It was totally God that I got it done as fast as I did and as well as I did.  This is a great example to show people what I can do and get more business.  So that's my plan.  It's only a month long, but for the time being I am painting in a carriage house.  Again, God is taking care of me by giving me a lot of painting orders all of a sudden.  Yesterday, I even had my work hung in a gallery for the first time.  Very cool.  Very legit.  It's at Star Trails Downtown in Kingsport, TN.  I also still have paintings at Drip Coffee in Columbia, SC.  I really need to stop, forget about everything else, and think about how cool this is.  As a little kid I wanted to be an artist when I grew up.  I'm barely getting by, but with God's help, that's what I am.  How awesome if this actually continues to work out?  God would be the only reason I was able to make it as an artist during these hard times.  I have to have FAITH He knows what He's doing.

   So.  Please think of me when you need a wedding gift, grandparent gift, baby shower gift, are redecorating your home.  I can paint your dad his hot rod he fixed up for years, paint where your parents got engaged, paint your girlfriend's favorite flowers, paint your pet, paint a mural in your kitchen, WHATEVER.  If you'd like to help me out but can't think of what you would get, I HAVE A MILLION IDEAS!  Thanks to everyone who has already helped, it means SO much.

Here is the family's photograph of the farm:

 Here is my painting:

  He did not weaken in faith when he considered the [utter] impotence of his own body, which was as good as dead because he was about a hundred years old, or [when he considered] the barrenness of Sarah’s [deadened] womb.

  No unbelief or distrust made him waver (doubtingly question) concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong and was empowered by faith as he gave praise and glory to God,

  Fully satisfied and assured that God was able and mighty to keep His word and to do what He had promised.

-Romans 4:19-21

Experience

  

   As you all know, I did not get the job I interviewed for in Charlotte a month ago.  It was with Joni and Friends International Disability Center.  I can not believe I had never heard of them before!  They do (have been doing for years) so much for the disabled community!!!  So you can better help me in my job search, HERE is the actual link to the job I thought had Katherine Hodges written all over it.  I thought the interview went well, but the director said when it came down to experience, others had more.  
   I was pretty bummed last night.  Excerpts from my conversation with God over the matter:

"I thought You wanted me to ask more specific things of You, to show how big You are.  I had just realized that helping the disabled community was what I wanted to do!  It would have been awesome to give me this- I have to be out of my house THIS month!"

"You know I could do this job!  If THEY don't think I have experience, who will?!" 

"I'm getting experience the best I know how when people won't give me a job.  I'm on my SECOND internship."

"I'm almost 25 and still have to order off the DOLLAR menu, Lord!" 

"sniffle.snot.honk."

"Have I been going about this wrong?  Do you want me to get the first corporate job I can so my resume will have at least ONE place listed for over a year?  Or is it OK what I'm doing?  Just be more clear!!!!"

   For awhile I read Romans 8:28 over and over.  Being one verse, it got old fast.  I started flipping through this Joyce Meyer amplified Bible.  Right away I happened to flip to commentary Joyce did in Hebrews.  I busted out laughing.

Have you ever needed a job, but every employment ad you read asked for someone with experience?  You wanted a job but did not have any experience, and it frustrated you.  I have been in that situation, and I remember thinking, "how can I get experience if nobody will give me a job?"

God also wants experienced help.  When we go to work for God in His kingdom, He will use everything in our past.  No matter how painful it was.  He considers it experience.  Many of us have gone through difficult things, and those things qualify us to help take someone else through them too.  Hebrews 5:8, 9 tells us that even Jesus gained experience through the things He suffered.

How could I write to you right now if I had not gone through some difficult things and gained some valuable experience?  How could I teach others how to forgive those who have hurt them if I had not first had the experience of forgiving those who hurt me?

I encourage you to look at your pain from a different viewpoint.  A right perspective makes all the difference in your life.  Take a look at how you can use your pain for someone else's gain.  Can your mess become your ministry?  Maybe you have gone through so much that you feel you have enough experience to be a specialist in some area.  I am a specialist in overcoming shame, guilt, poor self-image, lack of confidence, fear, anger, bitterness, self-pity, etc.  Let me encourage you to be positive about your past and your pain, and realize that it can all be used for good in God's kingdom.

-Joyce Meyer

So yeah, I was totally fine after that. :b