Adoption

   First let me start with some updates.  Tomorrow I move to Bristol, TN.  Yes, BRISTOL.  Unfortunately the details that need to happen in order to move a whole organization and some families is going to take longer than we had hoped.  SafeWorldNexus will be in Nashville as soon as we can.  I said "unfortunately" but I have a feeling I'm going to love the community in Bristol.  Now I'll get to make friends all over Tennessee.  The family and setup for where Sarah, Rachel, and I will be staying sound really awesome.  That is one sad thing- Ellie will no longer be interning with us and we're really going to miss her!  It sounds like God has a better plan for her though, so I know it's for the best.  

   God's "better" plans are what I want to talk about.  There's so much God has been doing in my life that I would love to share with whoever is reading this, because it really brings Him so much glory, however some things aren't appropriate for a blog.  (But definitely give me a call and I'll talk your ear off!)  Before I got a blog I would have said this post wasn't appropriate, but I have truly been blessed by reading other people's blogs in the past year.  This post would maybe be "too personal" for some people but to quote Kathleen Kelly- what is so wrong with being personal anyway?  As a church we need to be more personal in so many ways.  One way is being real with eachother and sharing what God is doing in our lives- not prayer needs, that's easy- but what God is DOING.  So on my end, I am going to share ways God has been at work in my individual life.  On your end... don't pretend you didn't read this.  Give God some glory.  Send Him a praise on my behalf.  If you're one of the fortunate individuals who gets to be blessed with my physical presence, tell me you read it so we can talk about how awesome Our Father is!  

   So here we go.  Since high school I have prayed that God would open my heart to adoption.  I flat out told Him, "I don't want to do it.  I'm not excited about doing it.  BUT I know there are a ton of orphans in this world and somebody has to take them in. Maybe You should just make it so I can't have kids because I don't know if I can get excited about it."  I was a little upset when I realized God calls us to adopt.  I mean, that was God, always throwing me the guilt card.  It was my prayer for a couple years- make adoption seem like not that much of a life ruiner.  Then came college.  Sophomore year I spent spring break in Miami with Campus Crusade for Christ.  One day we worked in an organization that helped abandoned children.  They would place them in foster care, and sometimes adoption.  Before we started cleaning, organizing their offices, etc., they showed us a video with real children who had gone through their organization.  This organization just worked in the Miami area and they had THOUSANDS of children that needed help.  The stories broke your heart.  It was a real eye-opener for me.  That is when God told me, "THIS is what brakes MY heart."  After that I knew I wanted to adopt, but I was also scared.  How would I CHOOSE a child?  Am I a bad person if I want a baby with no baggage, or disabilities?  It can cost HOW MUCH?!  So I kept praying about it- God please open my heart to adoption.  At least after that trip I know God planted a seed in me to work for a nonprofit.  I remember watching that video thinking how cool it would be to make videos for an organization.

   Now I'm in the real world.  My dream comes true and I get to work for a nonprofit- even make videos for them.  Unfortunately (or so I thought) I would have to wait eight months to start when originally we thought it would be one and a half.  I was so dissapointed.  Just one of those things where you say you can't always get what you want.  So I got a job at a "child development center"- actually there are so many blessings from that but I'm trying to stay on topic.  In the mornings I worked with one and two-year-olds.  Oh. My. Gosh.  I am tearing up now trying to think how I can even explain them.  I am going to miss them so much.  My last month I was with them all day so I got even closer with them and it's going to be really hard not seeing them. :(  After these last eight months I have come to love complete strangers' children.  You don't need to come looking for me if one goes missing, but I could see myself taking a number of those children home with me.  I wish I could!  God totally used this random temporary job to get me CRAZY EXCITED about adoption.  I no longer have any fear that I couldn't love an unbiological child.  My fears of the logistics are gone as well.  I think a big part of that came from reading Mary Beth Chapman's book Choosing to See.  Again, because a fellow believer opened up and shared some extremely personal information, I knew I could trust God in adoption, because someone showed me that He's been there already.  He'll do it again.  Let me tell you, God is at work in the Chapman family.  

   Actually I was just about to say they live in Nashville and I'd love to meet them when I remembered Ellie and Rachel already have!!!  Both of them have adopted siblings and the Chapman's organization ShowHope helped in funding some of the adoptions.  Ellie told me I could share the link to her blog.  Go Here to read about God's work in adopting her twin brothers.  Just looking at those pictures would give anyone a heart for adoption. 

   I know God is at work with SafeWorldNexus too.  What I thought was a random temporary job changing poops all day turned out to be valuable experience.  I now have an idea of what it takes to manage a room filled with sixteen babies.  It's work.  Orphan care's no playground (though those may help).  SafeWorld has plans to open an orphanage in Uganda in 2012 and I feel so blessed now to have this bit of experience- and a revived heart, or maybe a more broken heart, towards orphanages themselves.  At times I felt like our kids were in an orphanage.  Some were easily there 11 hours a day, and they were BABIES.  I wish I could have given them all more individual attention but you just can't if you want to keep 16 butts dry and 16 tummy's fed.  I never would have thought God was going to use those 16 butts to change my life but He did.  Our director Matt Chambers started blogging recently.  In this post he talks about Hebrews 12 where Jesus is called "the author and perfecter" of our faith.  I love when Matt says, "If God is the author, let Him write the story. As He writes, He also perfects. You can trust Him with the script of your life."

   Finally, I could leave this out but I don't think it's a coincidence.  You might think it's more information than you wanted to know about me, but it's part of the story and I'd tell anyone in person anyways.  This fall I found out I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome.  (If you see me poppin' pills it's for this.)  This is the leading cause of infertility in women so it was kind of a big deal when I found out.  My doctor doesn't even think I've been ovulating.  So one day I really may not be able to have children.  I also know other women who have it and had zero problems getting pregnant.  Again, God's in control.  Honestly, I kind of think this is all really cool.  (Maybe just because pregnancy is far from my mind.)  It's supposed to be a hereditary thing yet out of all the women in my family, no one else seems to have it.  It's almost like God really wanted to get adoption in my head.  I definitely thought about it so much this past year.  Adoption is such a beautiful example of what God did for us.  Eric Ludy illustrates it beautifully: